My mom didn’t even think of meeting another man until about 3 years after my father passed away. How could you be anything BUT a rebound following a long-term marriage?
But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. As such, you are presumably the first woman he’s been with for many years.
If he were lonely and desperate to get married, I’d feel better about your chances, but he’s not.
Give him another month to try harder and if he fails, walk away.
Here is a great article about dating and remarrying.
A widow from New Hampshire had written to Dear Abby about getting married again and how her children don’t want her to.
Most of all, I worry about the impact dating will have on my young children. Would a life of loneliness and sexual frustration make me a more honorable widow? But as I look back on the joy I shared with my husband during our three short years of marriage — the late-night talks, dinner dates in Georgetown, trips to the John F. I gave birth to two beautiful children and am modeling to them hope in the face of adversity. Some lucky man will have the privilege of shaping these young lives.
Sometimes I wonder if dating is worth jeopardizing my children’s peace and stability. Kennedy Center, family vacations to the Grand Canyon and Hawaii, long walks on the beach, holding hands, making love on a rainy day, raising children, love — I know it’s a worth the risk. And the right man — a mature man — will be able to look past the stretch marks on my stomach and the wounds on this widow’s heart and see something worth taking a risk for, too.Like many young widows, Janet was overwhelmed by the sudden loss of her husband and the responsibilities she would have to shoulder alone.If you find yourself in this situation, it's important to take care of yourself while simultaneously guiding your kids through their own grief.And as a result, I have arrived at a place where I’m comfortable acknowledging that I again need male companionship, that I’m ready for some conversation that doesn’t involve the characters on “Sesame Street.” Having been raised by a single mother, I’m familiar with some of the cardinal dating rules. Don’t introduce him to the children until it is serious. Will I find a man who loves me — stretch marks and all — and who loves my children? I have no plans to put our wedding album or video into storage.I worry about whether another man will be able to handle that. My son is too young to remember his father, and my daughter has never known what it’s like to have a daddy.Widowers are QUICK to rebound, to a point of being unseemly.