Ask friends, family or members of the congregation to act as accountability partners for the relationship.Having the wisdom and input of those that love you the most will bless your journey and help you see blind spots while avoiding dead-end paths.
Think about titles: “Reverend” (from “revere”), “Monsignor” (“my lord”), or, in the Episcopal Church, “Father” or “Mother” (do I need to explain that one? For a while I was dating someone whom convention would have me refer to as “Mother Strickland”.
Power differentials are never healthy in relationships—but we’ll get to that. You’re going to be under huge amounts of pressure to keep the relationship secret.
So I couldn’t tell anyone in my church about the biggest problem in my life—and that’s what churches are there for, to help you with the biggest problems in your life. Your emotions toward your church get mixed up with the emotions of your relationship.
If you’re in crazy infatuation with your pastor, you might start feeling like your church is the greatest place in the world.
Too attract new people, you'll need to show them you are interested - which means learning how to flirt.
Virtually every single first encounter that leads to more starts with a smile, so this dating rule suggests smiling at everyone you encounter, without qualification.
Have you ever noticed that happy people get more attention? So in order to attract more people into your life for dating purposes, focus on the things that make you happy.
Try writing a large piece of paper full of ideas that you can use in a pinch, such as taking a hot bath, going for a bike ride or filling your home with plants.
Unlike, perhaps, some of the readers of this article, I actively support full LGBTQ equality, and I do not believe that the only province of sexuality should be the marital relationship. But you, and I, and everyone, universally agree that some classes of sexual behavior are simply acceptable, like child molestation, or sexual assault.
And pastors dating their parishioners—although seemingly more benign at first—actually fits into that category. When you belong to a church, the ministers consult each other about what’s going on in your life—and this can create conflicts of interest if you’re dating one of them In my case, when I grew increasingly frazzled by my relationship with my pastor, I couldn’t go to one of the other ministers and talk about it. This would be like dating your manager, and then going to the CEO of the company for relationship advice.
If they didn’t do like this, you wouldn’t be at their church.