I call this harmony the Balance of Attraction, which is the basis for everything I talk about when I teach men and women how to improve their dating lives.
None of us smoked, but that didn’t stop him from requesting to borrow our nonexistent lighter five more times over the next few minutes.
Needless to say he was a nuisance, and we didn’t want to share our time with him.
A great example of reciprocated investment is when the man or woman you like starts to talk more than you.
Perhaps he or she shares stories from their youth or talks about her dedication to local volunteering. Also look for instances when the person of interest asks questions about you such as, “How do you feel about dating an ambitious person?
Then you ‘swipe right’ if you find them attractive, and left if you don’t (bonus: when you swipe left you get a satisfying stamp across their picture that says ‘NOPE.’) It’s slightly vain and shallow but it's also addictive. Is Tinder simply a microcosm of what we do in real life (p.s. File people away as attractive or unattractive, make split second decisions based on minimal facts, trust complete strangers?
From there, if you also fall into their criteria (age, sex, distance) and they find you attractive: you match. Do we really need to know tons of information about someone to know if they're a good match? Next time you’re in a potentially romantic interaction, ask yourself, “Where are we in the Balance of Attraction?” Simply being mindful of these variables will go a long way toward improving your dating life.The best way to garner his or her full investment is to first invest yourself.Once I was unwinding with friends at a pub when a drunken bar patron asked if we could light his cigarette.Try saying something like, “I enjoy chatting with you, but I worry that most conversations between strangers ultimately fall into the same tired patterns. Understanding these concepts will help romance form naturally.